Magic Isn't Real
by Fire The Canon
Summary: Perhaps slipping into that alley one day and performing a simple charm was the best mistake Percy ever made.


**Written for Hogwarts - Assignment 10 - Muggle Media - Frosty the Snowman - write about a Muggle finding out about magic, the Burrow**

 **Written for the Christmas Advent Calendar - door 5 - write about a couple (who are not dating) kissing underneath the mistletoe**

 **Written for the Ultimate Writer Challenge (write about a het pairing)**

* * *

 **Magic Isn't Real**

Percy swore under his breath. It was the fourth time this morning he'd stepped in snow that was deeper than he anticipated, and there were so many Muggles around that he couldn't find a quiet place to perform a non-slip charm.

Winter was the worst, and of course, it had to also be the busiest time of the year for Muggle London. If he was being honest, this work was beneath him. He'd been a committed and honourable Ministry worker for four years now; surely they'd give him some more interesting work than roaming the streets of London, surrounded by Muggles, to ensure nothing was amiss.

That was beginner's…. Percy growled. Being raised by two Muggle-friendly parents had taught him enough to not go further with that thought.

Ducking into a small alley, he slipped out his wand and muttered, " _Nulla Praetermisissent._ "

A gasp from his left startled him. He stowed his wand quickly into his trousers' pocket, but it was too late. A petite, bespectacled brunette watched on with wide eyes.

 _Perfect. She saw me perform magic. There goes my Ministry career._

Rather than running, the woman stepped closer to him, brows furrowed. "What kind of technology is that?" she asked.

"Tech-nology… oh, er…"

She was staring curiously at his pocket where she'd obviously seen him hide his wand.

"I've never seen anything quite like it before."

Percy stepped back. "It is… very new. A… proto-teep."

She raised an eyebrow. "A proto- _teep_?"

"Type," Percy corrected quickly, turning red.

"Well, it's quite fascinating. And was that Latin you were speaking? If I didn't know better, I'd think you were performing magic."

"Magic?" Percy laughed. "We all know magic isn't real."

The woman seemed amused. "Yes, we do. I'm Audrey." She offered a hand for Percy to shake.

"Er, Percy."

"Say, how about we go and have a coffee; get in from this ridiculous weather? I know a nice cafe nearby. I'd love to hear more about this technology you possess."

Percy's instinct was to say no, but before he could, his mouth was agreeing to her offer. The damn cold, the damn job… he needed to escape. And if this Muggle was here, offering that escape, who was he to say no?

…

The cafe wasn't really that nice, in Percy's opinion. It was small, and service was slow as there was no magic to make the coffee. It also had a funny smell.

They were seated by a window that looked out onto the street. Others had made the same mistake as him and not worn the appropriate shoes for such deep snow.

"So…" Audrey began, "care to explain a little more about this… _technology_?"

"Er, no," Percy said.

She laughed.

"Why are you so interested, anyway?" Percy wanted to know.

"Well, I work in business, and it's my job to scout new products to sell. I saw what you did. You sent a flash from that… stick of yours, and I saw the snow melt immediately, and if my guess is right - and it usually is - I'd say that device also helped to avoid you slipping on the icy street. _Nulla Praetermisissent._ No slip."

Percy said nothing. Who was this woman? She knew Latin, she'd put two and two together without much evidence... she seemed to be someone who could match his own intelligence. For a Muggle, at least. He was rather impressed.

"Hence why I suspect more than just science was used. Though that stick… was that a… _wand_? Where's the star on top?"

"Star?" Percy cried. "Wands don't have -" He looked away, cursing himself. In all his life, he'd not once broken the Statute of Secrecy, or even come close. Today, he'd managed it twice within an hour.

Who was this woman?

Audrey smiled knowingly.

"What are you believing in magic for?" Percy tried. "You seem like a pragmatic person. Magic is fairytale material." It _was_ a fairytale in the Muggle world, wasn't it?

Audrey didn't answer, instead choosing to change the topic. "So, what do you do, Percy? I mean, aside from carrying around prototype technology?"

"I work for the… government."

"Doing what?"

"Undersecretary for the Minister."

Audrey nodded. "I see. So in your spare time you practice magic?"

…

Percy set the quill on his desk. Two days ago, he'd had quite a lovely coffee with an intelligent Muggle woman, and since that day, he'd not been able to get her out of his head. It was a strange feeling; firstly, he hadn't had a girlfriend since Penelope, and second, she was a Muggle.

Of course, he wasn't prejudiced… that much. He was a Weasley, after all, but… he couldn't help but fantasise about Audrey in a way he'd never anticipated thinking of a Muggle.

"Weasley."

Kingsley entered the small office Percy had been given, causing the younger man to quickly pick up the quill and start scribbling again. "Yes, Minister?"

"I need you to run an errand for me."

Percy held back a sigh. His brother, Ron, was on a first name basis with the Minister and he'd been here all of five minutes. Despite everything, Percy was still 'Weasley'. "Where to?"

"London, again. It's an urgent package."

"Can't you… magick it?" Percy asked.

"Not to a Muggle office, no," Kingsley said.

Percy closed his eyes. And around in circles he went.

…

"Well, what a surprise to see you here."

Percy felt his cheeks burn red at the sight of a very business-like Audrey. Of all the places he had to be sent to, it had to be where _she_ worked.

"Is that the prototype you had the other day?" she wondered out loud, pointing at the package in his hands.

"No. This one is for my boss." Come to think of it, what in the name of Merlin was Kingsley doing, dealing with Muggles like this?

Audrey peered at the label and recognition seemed to dawn on her. "Oh, Kingsley is your boss?"

"You know him?" Percy asked, surprised.

"He has his clothes made by my mother," Audrey explained. "She's a seamstress. Rather than money, he pays her in gifts. Mum is fine with that. I think she has a little crush."

More like he had no idea how Muggle money worked, Percy realised. He handed the package to her. "So, this is for you, I suppose."

Audrey accepted it. "I suppose it is. Now, tell me, have you done anymore magic lately?"

Percy's blush deepened, and he turned and left.

…

"Aha!"

Percy jumped at the cry of delight and spun. "Wha- how did you - what?"

Audrey stood behind him, feet firmly planted inside the Leaky Cauldron - something she supposedly couldn't see. She grinned at him.

And then it dawned on him. "You're a Squib!"

"What's a Squib?"

Percy sighed. "There's no way you could have entered the Leaky Cauldron unless you have magic."

"Oh, so you _do_ have magic?"

"Yes… I mean…" He frowned. "Can you see this place?"

Audrey scrunched up her nose. "And smell it. I thought I'd follow you - sorry - and then you suddenly just… vanished. So I followed you through where you vanished and wound up here."

Percy closed his eyes. He'd be in so much trouble. "You have to leave."

"Why? I've just discovered magic exists, and you're a… a what, exactly?"

"A wizard."

"Oh."

"Listen, Audrey, I can get into serious trouble with you being here. Mug - er, non-magic people aren't supposed to know about magic, and there's big punishments for those who break the wizarding laws."

"Oh." Audrey's face fell. "I didn't mean to get you in trouble, but I was highly curious. Anyway, I'm sure _some_ non-magic people know, right? Otherwise, you'd all be marrying each other."

 _By Merlin, she's too clever._

"Well…" Percy flushed. "Yes, but… but we're not married, so you shouldn't know!"

Audrey shrugged. "Well, I'm here now." She scanned the filthy pub, her eyes falling upon a goblin. "Why don't you buy me a drink?"

Percy sighed. Well, he may as well make the most of it before he was expelled from the wizarding world.

…

" _Percy_ has brought a _girl_ here?" Ron asked, too loudly for Percy's liking. He sat at the kitchen table, Harry, Ginny and Hermione surrounding him as they helped Molly with dinner. It was Christmas Eve, and Percy was home for Christmas.

"Who would have seen the day," Ginny added, grinning. "A _girlfriend._ "

"She's not my girlfriend!" Percy said hurriedly, glancing to where Arthur and Fleur had taken Audrey to show her something.

"Where'd you meet?" Ginny continued. "The Ministry?"

"Er, no…" Percy flushed. He hadn't exactly given his family the details of Audrey's parentage, but since their meeting three weeks ago, she'd seen enough, so he'd thought bringing her to the Burrow wouldn't matter.

"Where, then?" Ron demanded.

"She's… she works… she's a Muggle."

As expected, silence ensued as his family all stared up at him.

"A… _Muggle_?" Ginny repeated, as if she'd misheard.

Percy nodded.

"Of all the people who'd -"

"Ron!" Hermione scolded.

"What? It's true. Percy is the most pretentious of all of us combined."

"But does she know about magic?" Hermione asked, staring at Percy with great concern.

"Of course she does," Percy said. "I wouldn't bring her here if she didn't." He turned away. Though, perhaps he should go and rescue Audrey. By now, his father would have realised that she possessed no magic and would be excitedly questioning her over bathtub plugs or something.

…

"Your family is so lovely," Audrey commented as Molly disappeared into the living room to serve dessert. Audrey had offered to help clean up, and Percy had too because… well… because she was there.

"Thanks," Percy muttered, carrying a pile of plates to the sink.

"Can't you use magic for that?" Audrey asked, coming to stand beside him.

"Yes, but -"

"Don't hide who you are because of me."

Percy shook his head. It just didn't feel right to perform simple tasks in front of her when she couldn't.

"Well, I'll have to get used to it, I suppose," she continued.

"W-what?"

"Well, you know… apparently your boss is magical. Kingsley, right? Who would have thought?"

"Right." Percy put the plates down harder than he intended.

Audrey laughed. "And, I suppose I'd also have to get used to it because I want to see you more."

A plate shattered on the ground. Percy blushed. Then, from the corner of his eye, he spotted mistletoe forming above them.

"Oh no."

"What?" Audrey asked, glancing up. She laughed. "It's just mistletoe."

"No, it's _magical_ mistletoe," Percy corrected. It… it forms… only when… when there is… love around." He couldn't dare look her in the eye. "And, you can't escape it unless you -"

"Kiss," Audrey finished, her voice a whisper.

Percy swallowed.

"Well, I guess there's only one thing for it." Audrey stepped closer to him, her arms snaking around his neck. "We can't stand here all night."

Percy swallowed. Three weeks ago, he'd not considered this to happen to him at all; but he couldn't help but think slipping into that alley was the best decision he ever made.

Her lips drew closer, and he could practically taste the mint in her breath. He lowered his head, closer and closer, until he reached her lips.

She had the softest lips, and he sunk into the kiss, savouring every moment. She seemed interested, but any moment could change that. For now, he'd revere this moment as one of the best in his life.

* * *

 _ **I really do enjoy writing about Percy and Audrey. It's a lot of fun. I hope you all enjoyed! Thank you to Arty for being my beta :)  
**_


End file.
